Bitter Romance
by BBailey
Summary: Optimus and Elite One try to keep the spice in their relationship despite the hardships that Cybertron is now facing. Also, Megatron's old girlfriend returns...is Starscream jealous?
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Transformers or anything associated with them! Don't sue!

Thanks you everyone for all of the kind reviews I got for my stories. My favorite characters are Megatron and Starscream; I have a lot of fun with them and their crazy predicaments!

OK, on with the story:

Optimus Prime pulled out a chair for Elite One and waited patiently for her to take a seat and then he circled the table and sat down himself.

"This is a really nice place." she remarked, plucking a menu from the table.

"The best restaurant on Cybertron," Optimus said, also lifting a menu. "I hope you enjoy it."

"I hear the T-bone energon is out of this world, literally."

"I think I'm going to go for the fillet de energon." Optimus replied when the waiter came to the table. "And I'll have a sparkling energon mix to drink."

"You better take it easy with the energon mixes, I hear they're potent." The waiter stated, scribbling on a note pad.

Hearing the familiar sound of the waiter's voice, Optimus quickly looked up from his menu. He was taken aback to see Bumble bee standing there taking their order.

"Bumble bee, is that you?" Prime asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, I'm working here at the Chez' Robotic part time to help make ends meet." He explained.

A slight gasp escaped her lips as Elite one stared down at the small Autobot and then back across the table at Prime. "Honey, don't you pay your fellow Autobots enough money to pay their bills?"

"The economic crisis isn't just affecting the people of Earth; it's hitting most of us on Cybertron, too." Prime said, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"But he's a waiter, Prime." Elite One argued, sweeping a hand over Bumble bee.

"At least I could afford to keep him part time." Optimus retorted with a sigh. "I had to lay Wheel jack, Hound, Inferno, and Mirage off."

"I know," Elite One nodded mournfully. "Alpha Trion told me he saw them at the unemployment office this morning applying for energon benefits."

"I didn't know Alpha Trion worked at the unemployment office."

"He doesn't. He was there collecting his social security check."

"What can I get for you, Elite?" Bumble bee asked, standing on tip-toes.

"I'll have a side of energon covered in motor oil and a diet energon to drink." She said, handing him the menu.

"Look over there." Optimus whispered over the table after Bumble bee scurried away towards the kitchen.

Elite one took a glimpse over her shoulder and then faced Optimus again, gasping.

"It's Arcee and Springer." She said and then glancing back over to their table, she noticed that the two married Autobots were arguing.

"They're fighting again." She whispered.

"Yes, ever since Springer's mother-bot moved in, they've been at each other's throats." Optimus said. "It's rumored that Arcee's having an affair."

"She's cheating on her husband?" Elite one gasped.

"She was cheating with Blur, but I hear he had sex so fast, she didn't believe they actually had it."

"No kidding." Elite one laughed, embarrassed.

"Then she tried to have sex with Grimlock, but he didn't know what to do."

"He's no better than a small child-bot." Elite One said.

"Yeah, apparently she was later fined for trying to seduce a retarded Autobot." Optimus shook his head. "I guess she eventually had a love affair with Kup and the excitement almost killed him."

"I hear Chromia is supporting Iron hide ever since he was dropped down to part time." Elite One mentioned.

"With the price of babysitting, he's better off becoming a stay-at-home-dad while she works." Prime sighed. "He can't afford daycare for his eight baby-bots only working part time."

"They shouldn't have had so many kid-bots."

"I know, but I think Iron hide was too proud to use birth control." Prime said.

ACROSS THE ROOM, AT ANOTHER TABLE:

Megatron sat watching Prime's table warily behind his menu.

"Can I take your order, sir?" Bumble bee asked, holding a pencil in midair, waiting.

Megatron looked down at the server. "An Autobot, prepare to meet your doom!" he growled.

"Uh, I'm working as a waiter right now." Bumble bee stammered nervously. "I'm not officially on the clock as an Autobot."

"You're not?"

"No."

"All right, in that case I'll take a deep fried energon and a large foaming energon to drink." He stated, handing the Autobot his menu.

Megatron sat and casually looked away, pretending not to notice the way Optimus and Elite One happily carried on a conversation, both of them laughing and holding each other's hands from across the table.

"Megatron, what's wrong?" Starscream asked, pulling out a chair and sitting down at the table.

"Look at Optimus Prime over there." Megatron grumbled low, his optics burning. "Sitting there with his lady love acting all cheerful and happy like a bunch of blubbering love birds."

"He's not that hot." Starscream said and then standing up, he screamed at Optimus. "Stop trying to show off! You're not hot, Megatron's hot!"

"Will you sit down and shut up?" Megatron growled, gripping Starscream by the wrist and pulling him down into his chair. "Don't draw attention to my table, for the love of slag!"

"My apologies, mighty Megatron," Starscream said. "That good for nothing Optimus acts like he's better than everyone else."

"Don't I know it?" Megatron sighed. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I wanted to report that Shockwave is threatening suicide again." Starscream said. "He says he can't afford to feed his elderly grandfather-bot on the measly pay he gets guarding Cybertron."

"Doesn't he know that I don't have a need for him to guard Cybertron anymore since I've been back?" Megatron replied. "I only kept him on so that he could keep feeding that parasite of a grandfather-bot."

"Yeah, why doesn't he just pull out the spark and watch his grandfather-bot's life force drain away and then have him cremated?" Starscream replied. "That's what I did to my grandmother-bot and now I'm a free Decepticon."

"That grandfather-bot of his is wretchedly obese anyway." Megatron chortled humorlessly. "He could stand to go without energon for a few days for the sake of everyone else."

"Shall I radio Shockwave and tell him to go ahead and kill himself?" Starscream offered.

"Yes, please do." Megatron nodded with a content sigh. "It would make me feel a whole lot better."

"Shockwave, this is Starscream, do you copy?"

"This is Shockwave." His voice vibrated over the internal intercom system. "I'm still standing over the molten pool. I'm going to jump off, I swear by it!"

"Ok, Megatron says for you to go ahead and kill yourself."

"I will!"

"Do it." Starscream challenged, smiling.

"Someone has to look after my grandfather-bot." Shockwave muttered sadly. "For I will no longer be around to do so."

"Don't worry; we'll give him a job toiling at the sewage heap." Starscream said.

"But he's an old man-bot."

"Not to worry, I'm sure the sewer hires old-bots, too." Megatron sighed as if he were bored. "Now if you please, carry on with your suicide, my energon will be here shortly."

Silence and then a blood-curdling shriek could be heard rumbling over the intercom, followed by a loud splash into the molten pool and then the eerie hiss of metal melting in the intense heat.

"Ahhhh, like music to my ears." Megatron smiled. "That is a sound one could go to sleep to."

"I know, can you picture him even now, Shockwave falling apart, his limbs oozing away from his body." Starscream said, rubbing his hands together. "His optics melting from their very sockets, oil sweltering from his dissolving body."

"Oh, Starscream, you're making me blush." Megatron said and then backed away when his food arrived. "It's about time, Autobot!"

"I'm sorry, don't blame me." Bumble bee said. "Blame that new cook. He's been getting complaints all day!"

"Send that cook out here and I will give him what for!" Megatron ordered, slamming his fist against the table. "I'll wrap my hands around his neck gears and squeeze the very life out of him. I'll rip out his optics and shove him in his mouth!"

"Megatron, now you're making me blush." Starscream replied.

"Ok," Bumble bee snickered.

A few minutes later the cook stood by the table awaiting reprimand.

"You wanted to see me?" the cook said.

Megatron furrowed his face plates to the familiar sound of a monotonous voice.

"Soundwave, what are you doing here?" Megatron gasped, looking up at Soundwave decked out in a red and white polka-a-doted apron.

"I am cooking various dishes of energon." He vibrated.

"I can see that." Megatron said. "Why are you cooking in this restaurant?"

"I am cooking because I am fulfilling the orders that have been displayed on the menus." He stated a flat tone.

"I mean, why are you working here?"

"Due to certain cut backs I am forced to seek supplemental income at another establishment."

"For the love of slag," Megatron moaned.

"Who's babysitting for Rumble and Frenzy?" Starscream callously teased.

"I was forced to put them up for adoption." Soundwave muttered miserably, hanging his head and trundling away in gloom.

"That was depressing." Megatron murmured, digging into his fried energon.

"I'll say, I wonder who's going to be stupid enough to want to adopt Rumble. Did you ever wonder where he got such an annoying accent?" Starscream asked, tilting his chair back.

"You know who comes to mind to me today?" Megatron said, picking at his energon.

"Who?"

"My old girlfriend from my younger days."

"Which femme bot was it?"

"Gun Gurl."

"Gun Gurl, you were dating her?" Starscream asked, looking surprised.

"Yes, but only for a brief amount of time." He sighed, his expression forlorn. "I even considered marrying her."

"Marriage?" Starscream gasped, taken aback. "I am surprised at you, Megatron! What happened?"

"I came to my senses, of course." He sneered, shaking his head. "She hated the fact that I was into evil and plundering different worlds for their natural resources and such. Ho hum, such as a woman who is always looking for ways to change a Decepticon?"

"Why were you thinking about her, then?"

"I was just wondering, why is it that we're not in any relationships?" Megatron asked, eyeing the table where Elite One and Optimus Prime engaged in cheery conversation, even laughing happily at times.

"What do you mean?"

"Why wouldn't a femme like Elite One go for someone like me?"

"I didn't know you had a thing for Elite One?" Starscream cringed.

"I didn't mean her; I was using her as an example." Megatron huffed impatiently.

"I don't know." Starscream shrugged. "You had Gun Gurl. You said you changed your mind about her and she was a good femme."

"It wouldn't have worked anyway." Megatron said. "She was into doing good deeds and caring her mother-bot and the fact that I dismantled my mother-bot for spare parts didn't seem to sit easy with her."

"I know what you mean. I shipped my mother-bot to the scrap heap nursing home."

"Isn't that place known for abuse?"

"Yes, but it was the only place that would take her for free." Starscream grinned.

"She also…" Megatron paused.

"What?"

"She also hated you." Megatron grumbled. "She said that I had to pick either her or you and for reasons unknown, I picked you."

"Megatron…I don't know what to say."

"What do I have to show for it? I have a thriving Decepticon base, I am the most powerful leader in the known universe, I have an almost unlimited supply of energon and I have a conceited seeker with a mouth that won't stop, but what do I not have?" he said with a hint of regret. "I don't have a wife-bot."

"You have your mother's used parts."

"Oh…yes, that, too."

"I should have dismantled my mother-bot." Starscream muttered, fiddling with his carburetor. "Some of my parts could use a make-over."

"Starscream, do you think our disassembling of family members is…oh, I don't know…normal?"

"It's more than normal! Why I'd say it's practical with the economy like it is."

"So, you don't feel any guilt?" Megatron asked, cocking his head to one side.

"I should say not! If I hadn't sent her away, she'd have taken me apart." Starscream declared hotly. "It's survival of the fittest and unfortunately for her, I was the stronger one! She should consider herself lucky, I could have sent her to the molten pool, but instead she rusts away in a nursing home, like all old bots are meant to."

"I suppose you're right."

"I am right."

Megatron sighed and then opening his chest plate, he removed a tiny box and held it in the palm of his hand, staring at it.

"Do you know what is in this box?" he asked.

"No."

Megatron opened it and then handed the box to Starscream.

Starscream peered inside. "It's a crystal energon ring."

"Yes, it was the one I was going to give Gun Gurl." Megatron said. "She never knew about that ring."

Across the room, at Prime's table:

"Look Prime," Elite One said with a giggle. "Isn't that Megatron and what's his name sitting over there?"

Optimus turned around, watching as Starscream lifted the glimmering ring out of the small box and admired it. His gaze fell on Megatron. He couldn't help but notice how gloomy and despondent he looked.

"Hmmm, I wonder what's going on over there?" he murmured, kneading his chin plate.

"I'd say it's looks as if Megatron bought Starscream a ring." She laughed. "My goodness, how sweet is that?"

Optimus threw back his head and laughed, drawing Megatron's attention.

"What in the name of slag is he laughing about?' Megatron grumbled.

"Look, it fits on me." Starscream smiled, lifting his hand revealing the tiny ring that glittered on his pinky. "Gun Gurl must have had large fingers."

"Hey, that ring is a sentimental keepsake!" Megatron growled. "Take it off of your grubby fingers!"  
Starscream pulled and yanked, but the ring wouldn't budge. Panic stricken, he held his hand under the table and tried again to pull, but the ring held fast.

"I…think…it's stuck, Megatron." Starscream stammered, still frantically working to remove it.

"It better not be." He grumbled. "I'd hate to have to cut your fingers off just to get it back."

"No need for that…eh…I'll get it off."

"Make it snappy."

"Perhaps if you gripped the ring while at the same time I pull my hand back?" Starscream suggested, holding his hand low beside the table to keep the effort hidden.

Megatron circled his brawny fingers around the ring. "Alright, pull and for your sake it had better come off."

Starscream huffed and puffed, pulling his hand from Megatron's grip, but the ring didn't budge.

"Keep pulling." Megatron ordered, his patience wearing thin. "I'm going to get it off if it's the last thing I ever do!"

Elite One grimaced, choking on her energon. Optimus eyed her with concern.

"What's wrong?"

"I can hardly eat my energon." She spat, shuddering. "Look at those two."

Optimus turned around and then gasped, seeing Megatron with his hands below the table and Starscream struggling, panting and grunting.

"For the love of slag." He muttered.

"Oh, why don't they just get a room?" Elite One coughed, dabbing her face plate with a cloth rag. "Decent bots are trying to eat here."

"Never mind, it's stuck tight." Megatron groused and then combing his body armor, he smiled, lifting a small blow torch. "Give me your hand and I'll cut it off."

"No, not my hand," Starscream cried. "Give me a bit of oil and I'll try and slip it off."

With a harrumph of pique, Megatron slammed his fork down and reluctantly trekked to Optimus Prime's table.

Elite One looked away, pretending to enjoy her meal.

"Prime." He muttered.

"Megatron." Prime nodded in return.

"Might you have any oil? I don't have any handy at my table." He asked, forcing himself to be polite. "Starscream thinks he needs oil to get it off."

Elite One suddenly spit her energon out and began choking, frantically covering her face with her hands in revulsion.

"Megatron, I don't find you amusing." Prime barked, his optics glowing angrily. "I find you disgusting!"

"It's not my fault." Megatron sneered. "I was just showing it to Starscream and then he grabs it, trying to act all cute and now he can't get it off."

With a heated sigh, Megatron snatched the oil from the table and then marched back to his own, angrily slamming it down.

"Here, now get it off!" he growled, taking a seat.

Bumble bee returned to the table, a towel draped over his arm. "Is there anything else I can get for you, Megatron?" he asked.

"Enough is enough, I'm leaving." Megatron groused, rising to his feet.

"Wait, please!" Starscream pleaded. "I'm jerking as hard as I can!"

"Eeewwww," Bumble bee wrinkled his face and quickly darted away.

With an irritated sneer, Megatron ignored Starscream's pleas and stormed away from the table without so much as a tip, heading straight for the cashier.

"I'm leaving, how much for the half-eaten energon?" he murmured angrily.

"That'll be…Megatron?" the cashier stammered.

Megatron looked up in wonder, his optics wide. "Gun Gurl?"

**Ok, that's it for chapter one! I'll add another chapter to this new and on-going story in a few days.

Also, I'm going to give the Starscream/Megatron sexual witticism a rest so I don't wear it out.

All reviews are read and appreciated, thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own the transformers or anything associated with them, except bots that I created myself!

Bitter Romance, chapter 2:

"Gun Gurl…I had no idea you were working here." Megatron said, taken aback.

"Starflower helped me to get this job." She said, her optics wavering uneasily.

"Starflower," Megatron murmured, looking up to see the familiar former Decepticon/ former Autobot/ former Decepticon housecleaner.

"Hello." Starflower nodded, handing Megatron his bill.

"So, what have you been doing with yourself since you left my base?" Megatron replied, covering the check.

"I'm in a new group called the Deceptibooties." She replied with a grin.

"Deceptibooties," Megatron chortled. "Only a retard like you could have thought of a group such as that."

"Uh…actually it was my idea." Gun Gurl replied, frowning as she handed him his change. "And I also noticed you didn't leave the waiter a tip."

"Oh…I didn't?" he faked surprise. "I was in such a hurry to leave I must have overlooked it, simple mistake."

Gun Gurl sighed and rolled her optics as Megatron handed her a small amount of copper energon.

Rolling the energon in her hand, she looked up. "What's this?"

"A tip for the clever waiter who served me with a smile."

"Five energon coppers," she questioned. "That's equivalent to twenty five earth cents."

"Yes, well I was in the mood to be quite generous today." He chuckled, squaring his shoulders.

"Uh…yeah." She huffed softly, pouring the change into the register. She wouldn't tell Bumble bee about the meager tip. It was better that he thought he got nothing than to be embarrassed by the pocket change of an energon-grubbing Decepticon.

"How is your mother-bot?" he said, forcing small talk.

"She's fine."

"Are you still leading the Decepticons?" she asked in turn.

"Of course."

Starscream trekked to Megatron's side and slapped the sparkling energon ring onto the counter. "Here's your ring back." He breathed, rubbing his sore knuckles.

Gun Gurl looked down at the ring and then up at Megatron, a sly grin tugging at her metallic lips. "I see you're still with your girlfriend, Starscream. What happened, did he call off the engagement?"

Mortified, but also not wanting Gun Gurl to know that the ring was once meant for her, he snatched it from the counter and hid it within his fist.

"I…uh…found it." He stammered.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Gun Gurl?" Starscream chortled sarcastically. "Working in a restaurant serving Decepticons, how fitting."

Gun Gurl hung her head. "It's honest work." She muttered.

Megatron forced a frown, his hands clenched tightly to his sides. He couldn't understand why seeing Gun Gurl's hurt pride was starting to bother him.

"Let's go, Starscream." He grumbled, dragging his optics from the beautiful grey and silver femme. "We've got more important things to do."

"Yeah, Megatron spends all his important time with me, Gun Hurl." He laughed, purposely saying her name wrong.

"I'm sure he does," she said low with her own hint of mockery. " After all, they don't call you 'Screamer for nothing."

Starscream stopped abruptly, giving her an icy glare. "What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing." She said, feigning politeness.

Outside of the famed restaurant, Megatron opened his fist, sneering at the ring that innocently glimmered in his hand.

Starscream quickly trailed up behind him. "Imagine that, we were just talking about that goodie-two-shoes femme and then look who ends up being the cashier? What a small planet."

"Starscream, take this and I want you to throw it into the molting pool for me." He said sadly, dropping the ring into the seeker's hand. "When I see it, it reminds me of Gun Gurl."

"Of course it does," Starscream nodded, plucking the ring from his hand. "That's because you were going to give it to her a long time ago."

"I know that, you idiot!" he growled impatiently. "That's why I want it gone from my sight!"

"Can I have it?"

"No, I don't want it anywhere near my headquarters."

"I could pawn it."

"No, the next time I go to the pawn shop trying to sell off some of my more useless Decepticons, I may end up seeing it." Megatron said.

"If you let me keep it, I'll tuck it deep inside of me, out of your view." Starscream mentioned, admiring the glittering jewel.

"No, that won't work either." Megatron sighed. "The next time you make me angry enough to rip out your innards, I might see it."

"Why don't you come with me to the molten pool?" Starscream suggested. "Perhaps if you watch the ring melt in the molten lava, you'll feel better."

"I doubt it."

"Oh, come on." He urged his leader. "If we watch together, we might see parts of Shockwave floating around."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, imagine seeing his blue carcass drifting among the waste, his limbs all but completely melted from his girlie body and his one blinking optic flashing desperately for help that will never come. Instead he will see us standing on the edge watching him dissolve, laughing!" Starscream replied dreamily, rubbing his hands together.

"You always know the right things to say." Megatron sighed, a smile playing across his face plate.

"I know, we can stop off at the sewer heap and get Shockwave's grandfather-bot and take him with us and let him watch Shockwave liquefy." Starscream suggested with brightness.

"Oooooh, that sounds like fun." Megatron nodded.

"And after he finishes crying over his girlie-grandson-bot, we can push him in!"

"Oh, Starscream, you sure know how to show this mighty leader a good time." Megatron chuckled, walking along side of him towards the Cybertron sewer heap.

Optimus held open the door to the restaurant, but not before slipping a few extra energon on the table for a most generous tip. He had seen Megatron leaving a few scanty energon coppers with Gun Gurl and frankly he was embarrassed. Bumble bee worked hard and it wasn't right that he had to wait tables with a bot as disgusting as Megatron, who couldn't seem to keep himself under control when he was around Starscream.

Cocking his head to one side, he turned his optics to Elite, concern etched in his expression. "Are you alright, dearest?"

"I'm alright." She said uneasily. "Just trying to mentally block out the shameful scene that Megatron caused in front of our table."

"I know the nerve of some bots." Optimus shook his head pitifully.

Elite One eased her arm through Optimus' and walked with him through the eerie moonlight of Cybertron's three moons.

"Optimus, I've always wanted to ask you why you didn't take me to earth with you the first time you left Cybertron over a million years ago."

Optimus sighed and then gently patting Elite's hand, he said. "I left without you out of respect for your father."

"Alpha Trion, what do you mean?"

"He said that I wasn't allowed to take you." Optimus explained. "He believed it was much too dangerous for you to go away with me."

"But I'm a grown femme bot." she argued and then shaking her head, she added. "I should have known."

"What?" Prime asked, quirking his face plate.

"Alpha Trion has Alzheimer's disease, he had it even then."

"I thought that disease only affects humans?"

"Well, apparently not." She said. "He's still under the impression that I am a newly made child-bot that my mother just brought home from the spark store."

"You're kidding?"

"No, right after you left for earth, Alpha Trion came back to me a day later and asked if I had seen you. He didn't know where you were. I told him that he had sent you to earth, but within an hour, he came back and asked me again."

"For the love of the Matrix." Optimus murmured, shaken.

"A week later, he was asking for you again and then after I explained it for the millionth time, he accused me of lying because he believed there was no such thing as earth." Elite One said, lowering her optics. "Finally, after a month had passed, he approached me again and I lost my temper. I yelled at him that Optimus Prime left for the planet earth and he said, "Optimus who?"

"My darling, I could have taken you after all." Optimus choked on his words, regret filling his being.

"Alpha Trion began following me everywhere, but actually he was following a seeker he thought was me." Elite One said. "That's why his left optic is missing. The annoyed Decepticon shot it out."

"We could make a new start." Optimus suggested, drawing her into his arms. "When I go back to earth next month, this time I will take you with me."

"But what about Alpha Trion?" Elite One asked, easing back and looking up into his optics. "I can't leave the confused Autobot alone with no one to look after him; Lord knows what he'll get into."

"Don't worry; we'll have a cage made especially for him."

"Oh, Prime," Elite One cried, flinging herself back into his embrace. "You're the best!"

Inside a lone Autobot house:

Springer held the inter-universal receiver to his audio gears, waiting and listening for an answer.

"Hello, this is cheaters." A voice said. "How can we assist you?"

"I would like to hire the good earthlings of cheaters to spy on my wife." He said, looking around to be sure that his children-bots could not hear him. "I think she is cheating on me."

"Alright, we'll have to ask you a few questions. Is that ok?" the operator replied.

"Sure."

"What's your wife's name?"

"Arcee."

"How long have you and Arcee been married?"

"We've been married for about forty-two astro-cycles."

"Excuse me?"

"I said forty-two astro-cycles." He repeated.

"We don't measure by the metric system, sir." The operator said.

"Four thousand earth years." He corrected himself.

"Uh…ok." The puzzled operator said. "What makes you think that your wife is going to someone else?"

"I'm finding strange metal plates left all over the house and last week there was an unknown oil spill in our recharging unit."

"And you're sure it wasn't your oil spill, sir?"

"I'm very sure."

"Where are you located?"

"Cybertron."

"Is that anywhere near Texas?"

"Not really." He replied, rubbing his neck gears. "I'm probably about eighty-seven million, four hundred and sixty-one thousand light years from Texas."

"Hold on one moment, sir."

After a few awkward moments of silence the operator returned.

"Sir, I'm afraid we can't help you. Joey Greco says that is a bit too far for him to go."

"Aww, slag!" Springer spat.

"Sir, if it will help, you can bring your wife to the Maury Povich show and have her take a lie detector test." The operator suggested. "The Maury show serves guests living in other solar systems and they will personally rocket ship you in."

"Lie detector test, huh?" Springer murmured, kneading his chin plate. "Hmmmm."

Chapter 3 coming soon!


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own transformers…yadah, yadah, yadah…

Chapter 3:

"Oh look, he absolutely loves his new cage…er… I mean room." Elite One giggled, watching adoringly as Alpha Trion paced helplessly back and forth in the life-size bird cage, his expression one of utter confusion.

"How are you doing in there, Alpha Trion?" Optimus shouted through the bars encouragingly.

"Are you sure this is my room?" he asked, his face puzzled as he trekked the length of the small cage. "It's quite small."

"Father, Optimus has over a hundred of us to house." Elite One murmured, shaking a finger. "I would think you'd be grateful just to have your own room."

"Dear, I sent Optimus away to earth zillions of years ago." Alpha Trion stated, gripping the silver bars. "He's not coming back."

"He's right here; Father and we're on earth." Elite One tried to explain to the confused old man-bot.

"Alpha Trion, look at me and tell me who you see." Optimus Prime said firmly, standing before the cage, his optics locking with that of Alpha Trion.

"Elite?" Alpha Trion gasped. "My goodness, how you've grown, child. You've got shoulders bigger than Optimus Prime's."

"It is me, Optimus Prime."

"Optimus who?"

"For the love of slag, this is hopeless." He stated, shaking his head.

"I think this is some kind of cage." Alpha Trion murmured, kneading his chin as he scrutinized the layout of the pen.

"No Father, I assure you, it's a room." Elite One quickly interceded. "I'm going to the recharging unit with Prime now, good night."

"I don't have a recharging unit in here." He said.

"You can use ours in the morning." Elite One said. "Dr. Ratchet strictly forbids you to use one by yourself."

"Dr. Who?"

"Good night, Father." She sighed, flipping off the lights and following Prime to his quarters.

Inside Prime's recharging chamber:

"I can't wait to hit the unit with you, my dear." Prime chuckled, gesturing towards the platform and then halting abruptly when they spotted Jazz lying in it.

"Someone is using it, Prime." Elite whispered, pointing.

"Uh, excuse me." Prime muttered, poking Jazz in the shoulder joint.

Jazz immediately scrambled off the unit. "I'm sorry; did you want to use it?"

"I did, what's wrong with the recharging unit in the main part of the head quarters? Why aren't you using it?"

"The laser is broken; Wheel Jack came in to fix it." Jazz explained. "My apologies, Prime. I'll get out of here right away."

Optimus looked down at the inviting recharging unit and then back to the door, watching Jazz ramble away.

"Wait; does he know how long it will take to fix the unit?" Optimus asked.

Jazz looked over his shoulder. "He thinks it'll be as good as new in a few days."

"How many Autobots need to recharge?" he asked, feeling a twinge of guilt.

"There's around sixty or so, but don't you worry, we'll be fine." Jazz said, waving away the thought with a light airy sweep of his hand. "We wouldn't think of disturbing you and your fair and lovely Elite One."

"Are you certain?"

"Quite."

"Alright, then I will bid you all goodnight." Prime smiled.

"Prime?" Jazz replied, just before closing the door.

"Yes?"

"Is it alright if we all stand outside your door in a line, ready so we can use your unit when you're finished with it?" he asked.

"I…suppose."

"Thank you, Prime." Jazz nodded with a grin, slamming the door closed behind him.

Elite One daintily buffed her pink metallic skin with carburetor cleaner and then climbed onto the recharging unit. The warm energon rays tingled all over and she sighed in contentment.

Turning her head, she noticed Optimus reluctantly polishing his chrome.

"Prime, what's wrong?" she asked, lifting herself up on an elbow. "Aren't we going to make love?"

"Somehow, making love while knowing that sixty-some Autobots are hovering right outside of our door is a little unnerving."

"We could just lay here and hold each other for awhile." She proposed with a smile.

"I'd like that." He said.

Right outside of the molten pool:

"Megatron, you've come to sssssave…me." Shockwave's voice whispered his head barely visible, his blinking optic out and his paint corroded away.

"Oh, slag!" Megatron pouted. "He's still alive."

"Shockwave, what are you doing in the molten pool, boy?" Tire iron, Shockwave's grandfather-bot asked. "A body could melt in there."

"Grandfather, hellllpppp…mmmmeee." Shockwave's soft voice drifted over the steam until his face melted off.

"Shockwave!" Tire iron cried, reaching out in vain. "Grab my hand, boy!"

"Try getting a little closer." Starscream said, shoving the elderly bot into the pit.

The old bot rolled down the hill and then he splashed loudly into the molten lava. The fiery liquid scorched his old frame and his extremities dissolved almost immediately.

"Somebody save me!" he shrieked, his head bobbing the surface of the blazing inferno.

"Here, grab onto this!" Starscream cried, tossing the elderly bot a concrete block.

"Aughhhhhh!" he screamed. "I'm drowning and melting…I…_"blub, blub, blub_."

Megatron stood along the edge of the fiery pit watching the various robot parts as they floated and liquefied, swirling around in the blistering whirlpool.

"That was nice." Megatron sighed contently. "We should do that more often."

"I like the way he bawled when the lava first hit him." Starscream laughed. "If only Reflector was here, we could've had him take a picture."

"And then we could've pushed him in after that." Megatron smirked. "Do you suppose Reflector would melt as a camera, or would he transform into robot form and melt as three separate robots?"

"Hopefully three robots, then we would have three times the fun watching all three of them scream for help in unison." Starscream chuckled.

"No one can make the molten pool such a fun place to visit than you." Megatron said, placing a hand on his wing.

Starscream blushed. "Megatron, do you like me?" he asked, but before Megatron could answer, something else grabbed his attention.

"Megatron?" a feminine voice murmured, causing the mighty leader to avert his gaze.

He spotted Gun Gurl on her knees picking up scrap parts from the ground around the molten pit.

"Gun Gurl, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm gathering used parts for the poor bots that are in need of them." She said, placing a gear shift into a bag draped over her arm. "I know the parts are off the dead, but there are so many live bots that are in dire need."

"There are some spare parts for you." Starscream declared with a sardonic grin, pointing to the mechanical parts suspended in the molten pool.

Craning her neck gears, she peered over the edge and into the blazing pit of lava. "Those parts look an awful lot like Shockwave." She said, her abdominal parts clenching. "But I know it can't be him, even Megatron wouldn't murder a Decepticon that has a sick grandfather-bot at home."

"Uh…no…of course not." Megatron murmured edgily.

"Let me help you get a little closer." Starscream said and then he reared back, attempting to kick the femme in the rear axle and watch her tumble in when Megatron reached out and halted his actions.

Puzzled by the two Decepticons struggling behind her back, she quirked her face plate. "What's going on?"

"Nothing…" Megatron said, giving Starscream an ice-cold glare. "You know Starscream, he's always clowning. Here, allow me to help you up."

Megatron grabbed Gun Gurl by the wrist and drew her to her feet.

Starscream watched, his insides burning green with jealously. Opening his chest plate, he removed the glimmering energon ring and held it out so that she could see it.

"See this?" he asked, eyeing her.

"Yes, it's the ring you were wearing at the restaurant." She answered, peering into his hand.

"No, it's the ring Megatron once thought about giving to you." He retorted hotly. "He asked me to throw it into the molten pool so he never had to be reminded of you again."

With that, Starscream smugly tossed the ring into the boiling lava.

Gun Gurl gasped as she watched the ring slowly sink below the surface and then regarding the words about Megatron wanting to forget her, she lifted her nose plate in the air and stormed off.

"Good, she's gone." Starscream chortled.

"Starscream, you idiot!" Megatron growled. "I didn't want Gun Gurl to know about the ring! I swear by the matrix, you have got to have the biggest mouth this side of Cybertron!"

Megatron frowned and then marched off in a huff when suddenly Starscream started to trail behind him.

"I thought you didn't want her." Starscream said, puzzled by his leader's reaction.

"I don't…I…need to be alone for awhile." Megatron sighed over his shoulder. "Look after the base for me."

"Could I be…the leader while you're gone?" he asked, hopeful.

"Don't be absurd," Megatron sneered. "I'm only going to be gone for a few hours."

"Oh."

"Before I return, I want you to apologize to Gun Gurl and then tell her that I never want to see her again, do you hear?"

"That doesn't make sense."

"It does make sense, don't you see the signs?"

"What signs?" Starscream asked, looking up in the air, his expression baffled.

"For the love of slag," Megatron growled. "I'm talking about destiny. Fate has brought Gun Gurl back into my life again and I can't allow it to happen."

"Tell it to make her get lost."

"What?" Megatron questioned.

"This destiny that you speak of," Starscream explained.

"Oh, you are such an idiot." Megatron rolled his optics. "Just do as I say and tell her that I must never see her again…ever!"

chapter 4, coming real soon!


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own the Transformers…yeah ok, there we go!

"Uh, Prime," Bumblebee murmured, standing in the door of his recharging unit. "We have a problem."

"What is it?" Optimus asked, sitting up and stretching his arms above his head.

"Alpha Trion is stuck in the waste disposal chamber."

"What? How?" he gasped, quickly following Bumblebee out into the corridor of their Earth base.

Stopping in the threshold of the waste disposal chamber, Optimus Prime watched as Elite One stood by the unlocked door trying to coax him out.

"Father, the door is open, just walk out." She wheedled, waving a hand.

"Elite? Where are you?" he asked, looking around the Autobot-type bathroom, completely confused. "I can hear you but I can't see you."

"Oh Father, I'm right here!" she stood flying her arms in front of him. "Just follow me out the door."

Elite One slowly walked out the door, but when she glanced over her shoulder, Alpha Trion was still standing by the toilet, not moving one inch.

"Father!" she cried.

"What in the universe is going on here?" Optimus asked, looking through the bathroom door at Alpha Trion and then back at Elite One.

"I let Father out of his cage…er, I mean room, to toilet him, but now I can't get him out of the waste disposal area."

"Elite, how do I get out of here? I'm trapped." Alpha Trion called, though the door was wide open and Elite One and Optimus were in plain view.

"Alpha Trion, the door is open; you need to come out of there." Prime shouted to the puzzled elderly robot.

"Prime, is he going to be stuck much longer?" Jazz asked. "We have a line forming here."

Looking up over Jazz's head, Optimus sighed when he saw a procession of some twenty Autobots waiting impatiently to use the disposal room, most of which were holding their groins and fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Oh, I am so embarrassed." Elite One moaned, covering her face plates with her hands.

Squaring his shoulders, Prime ducked his head back into the door. "Alpha Trion, I know you can see me. Other Autobots need to use this waste disposal room; you need to come out of there right now."

"Prime, is that you?" he asked, scratching the top of his head.

"Alpha Trion, enough of this nonsense." Prime said firmly, though his patience was finally wearing thin. "Come out the door."

"Door? What door?"

"Prime, can't we just pull him out?" Iron hide asked, holding his metallic groin. "I have to go."

With a sigh of annoyance, Prime grasped Alpha Trion by the arm and jerked him out of the door.

"Finally!" Jazz screamed, diving into the waste disposal room and slamming the door shut.

"There, see?" Prime said, releasing the confused old man-bot. "You're out now."

Instead of being relieved, Prime watched in horror as Alpha Trion clutched his own arm and dropped to the ground doing what anyone on earth would call the "Curly shuffle".

"Oooooh, my arm!" Alpha Trion cried. "Optimus Prime broke my arm!"

"Alpha Trion, your arm is made of Cybertroinian steel, making it impossible to break." Prime murmured.

"Oh…uh…my arm is bent out of place…ooooooh!" he bellowed, writhing.

Elite One dropped to her knees and cradled the old transformer's head in her lap. "Father are you ok?"

"No, your boyfriend hurt my little arm!" he whined, purposely rubbing it.

Elite One flashed angry optics up at Optimus. "What did you do to my father?"

"Nothing, I just got him to leave the waste disposal room."

"He grabbed me by my arm and threw me to the floor and shouted that I was a waste of everyone's time and he called me a worthless old bastard." Alpha Trion said, sniffing.

"Prime, I am surprised at you!" Elite One gasped.

"That is not so." Prime shook his head. "Alpha Trion, you tell her the truth."

"All right…" Alpha Trion sighed as Elite stroked his metal brow. "He said he was going to throw me into a nursing home so that he could have you all to himself, my child."

"Oh, father." Elite One moaned.

"Hoo-boy." Prime muttered.

Back at the molting pool, Starscream transformed and landed in robot form along the edge. His optics combed the boiling center of the pool; nothing could be seen but red hot lava.

"Slag, Shockwave must be melted once and for all." He whined, kicking a rock in disappointment. "I was hoping to see him disintegrate, maybe hear one last cry for help from him before he was gone."

With a slight shrug, he turned to leave when he spotted Gun Gurl in the distance on her knees gathering spare bot parts.

"Back to her old goody-goody ways again." He murmured, but instead of leaving he marched over to where she was groping for pieces.

Gun Gurl filled her gunny sack with a couple of rusty gears and a few center axles before calling it a night.

Rising to her feet, she yanked the overfilled bag across the ground, halting abruptly when Starscream suddenly appeared in front of her.

"I'm glad to see you, Gun Gurl." He taunted with a devilish grin. "I have a message from Megatron. He says that he never wants to see you again and to be gone from his life forever."

"Hmmm, uh, ok." She said and then continued to drag her bag cater-cornered on the ground towards the main lane to Iakon.

Starscream frowned. He expected her to plead for Megatron to give her another chance and throw herself at his mercy with a broken heart. If it were him, at least he knew he would do it.

"Didn't you hear what I said? Megatron hates you; he doesn't want to see you ever again!"

"Ok, I heard you." She nodded, trying to scurry away with an armful. "I'll try not to run into him again."

"He doesn't want you!" he shouted, still perplexed as to why she wasn't breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Ok, fine." She shouted back.

Puffing out his chest, Starscream stormed up to her and ruthlessly knocked the over-loaded bag from her grip, the loose parts flying all over the ground at her feet.

"Why aren't you crying?" he demanded.

"Are you trying to make me cry?" she asked sarcastically. "Because if you are, I don't; have time now. I have to spend it picking up all of these parts you scattered everywhere."

"I don't understand."

"What don't you understand?" she asked, trying to gather up all of the strewn about bits.

"I thought you wanted Megatron back?"

"What?" she said in a shrill cry. "Are you kidding? I'm a happily married Deceptibootie."

"Married? Who did you marry?"

"I married Moonstone."

"But what about Megatron?" Starscream stammered in disbelief that someone would willingly choose a plain nobody-bot over the Mighty Megatron.

"Megatron and I weren't meant to be together." She tried to explain. "I had my goodwill projects, housing the homeless and passing out energon to the poor. He had his pillaging, slaughtering of the innocent and kicking around old lady femme bots. We just didn't have the chemistry that Moonstone and I have."

"You love…Moonstone?"

"What about you? Haven't you ever had feelings for someone that were so strong that you'd do anything for them, give them your spark and think about them night and day?"

"Uh, yes…ME!" he said, squaring his shoulders.

"For the love of slag," she murmured, rolling her optics. "Look, just tell Megatron that he doesn't have to worry, I won't see him again, because I don't love him."

Renewing her grip on the gunny sack, Gun Gurl resumed dragging it down the lane until she was out of sight.

Optimus Prime nervously paced his private quarters, listening patiently as the other Autobots made their complaints one by one.

"Alpha Trion poured a pitcher of water into Teletran One, short circuiting her data base." Ratchet said. "He claims he was watering the gold fish. What gold fish? There wasn't even an image of gold fish on her screen!"

"Alpha Trion came into my chambers in the middle of the night and tried to wake me up for school." Brawn said, tossing his hands in the air. "What's school?"

"Alpha Trion dropped a blob of waste in my chambers." Trailbreaker said, shuddering.

"This can't go on," Prime said sadly. "Yet how can I ask the femme I love to put her father up in a home?"

"Maybe we can hire a babysitter?" Bumblebee suggested.

"With the economy like it is? I can barely keep what Autobots I still have on." Optimus sighed, kneading his chin plate.

"I can't help you there, I can barely afford my own energon and hardly anybody tips me at the restaurant." Bumblebee said with a sigh of regret.

"It's all right." Optimus said. "Do not worry, my fellow Autobots, leave me with my thoughts and by morning I will have a reasonable solution that will satisfy everyone."

Nodding with approval, the Autobots filed out one by one, leaving Prime alone with Wheel jack.

"Uh…Prime, if I may…I might have a solution." Wheel jack replied.

"You do? Please, tell me what it is." Prime nearly screamed.

"Of course, since I am technically laid off, I doubt my solution will actually benefit anyone at this time." He faltered.

"Fine, you're reinstated!" Optimus shouted, grasping the Autobot by the shoulders, shaking him. "Just tell me what it is!"

"I could remove parts of his psyche apparatus and replace them with brand new parts."

"That could work." Optimus nodded. "Go on."

"But, would she agree to have her father-bot operated on?"

"Do we have to tell her?"

"I suppose not."

"Let's go for it!"

Megatron sat aimlessly on his throne, his thoughts filled with the image of Gun Gurl storming out of the junk yard, running from the molten pool.

The only thing he could picture was Starscream breaking the news to her and envisioning her weeping hysterically out there…all alone.

"Why should I allow some blubbering femme to disturb me so?" he questioned himself, disgusted with the weaker side of him that so few knew about. "She means nothing to me!"

"Megatron, Soundwave says he has a new source of fuel that he would like for you to approve." Starscream said, poking his head through the door of Megatron's throne room.

"Fine." Megatron said.

"Better hurry up, you know how he gets all wishy-washy when he thinks he's going to be late putting Rumble and Frenzy to bed." Starscream replied rolling his optics.

"Starscream, come in and close the door." Megatron murmured, feeling himself grow uneasy.

Starscream did what he was told, but he too, felt Megatron's unnerving scrutiny as he trekked inside. He knew he was going to ask about Gun Gurl, but for once, Starscream didn't know what to say.

He thought it would be wonderful to reveal to Megatron that his beloved Gun Gurl didn't want him and that she had given her spark to another, but now he wasn't so sure.

He hated to see Megatron rejected, worse yet…angry enough at Gun Gurl that he would decide to take it out on him!

"Did you see Gun Gurl today?"

"Who?"

"I said, Gun Gurl." Megatron repeated.

"Gun Gurl who?" Starscream faked ignorance.

"You know who I am referring to!" he grumbled.

"Oh…Gun Gurl." Starscream said tentatively. "Well…uh…yes and no."

"What do you mean, yes and no?" Megatron furrowed his face plates. "Either you saw her or you didn't."

"I…did see her." he admitted.

"And?"

"She was picking up bot parts."

"And?"

"And putting them in this grain sack."

"And?"

"And dragging them across the road."

"And?"

"And planning to hand them out to the poor, I assume."

"And?"

"Or sell them on eBay, I don't really know." Starscream shrugged.

"I mean…did you talk to her?"

"Yes."

"Did you tell her what I told you to say?"

"Uh…yes."

"What did she do?"

Thinking quickly, Starscream blurted out what he knew Megatron wanted to hear.

"She bawled her optics out. She said she didn't know how she could ever live without someone like you, mighty Megatron."

A smile of pure masculine delight played across Megatron's face. "She cried over me?"

"Oh, yes." He went on. "But she said for your sake, she would just have to learn to live without you and face each day with her head held high."

"Please, go on." Megatron encouraged, feeling his loins ache with mannish supremacy.

"She only prayed that when you go on your next plundering spree, you would remember her and all the things that she so loathed about what you did."

"That's Gun Gurl, tough as nails." He chortled. "Perhaps I should talk to her."

"No, I wouldn't do that!" Starscream quickly interceded. "It would hurt her stupid femme pride."

"I suppose you're right." Megatron smiled. "Still, I would have loved to listen to her grovel."

"Oh, you should have seen her." Starscream laughed, the lies spilling from him as easily as cut pie. "She did this."

Starscream fell on his knees in front of Megatron in an attempt to mock Gun Gurl, all though he knew what he was doing was secretly false, Gun Gurl didn't beg at all.

"Oh, please don't leave me! I love you so much, Megatron! I can't live without you, sweet Megatron." He said jokingly, fake crying.

Just then Thundercracker happened to walk past Megatron's throne room. Stopping, he pressed his audio sensors to the door and listened.

"Why must you insist on leaving me, Megatron? I love you. I'll throw myself into the molten pool if I can't be with you!" he heard Starscream say.

"For the love of Slag." Thundercracker grimaced. "I knew Starscream had a thing for old Megs, but he could at least have an ounce of self dignity."

Chapter 5 coming soon!


End file.
